How I robbed Tra with her innocence

Meet Tra, a 9-year-old resident of Poum Steung village. One of 12 household members including 3 older brothers, 2 younger brothers and 2 older sisters. Her closest older brother Kunnreen(12) is always beside her to look after. She's smart, curious, sits in the front row of her classroom and always be attentive. Her best friend is a girl from the next door Hanravi(14), who took these pictures above. At the time of my visits to Poum Steung, she belongs to morning school in one of the older children's classroom.


When I proposed to Thai about "Poum Steung Dream Project" there was one thing I wanted to ask for besides of chilren's participation to the project. As you often see in video documentaries about any particular society, you are introduced to one or few characters, individuals to identify with, so that you are able to perceive the society in subject from that character's point of view. This is very common technique as documentary making, and I believe any of you understand it's more effective that way than following mass crowd of children as a group.
I asked Thai, that I would like to stay day and night over at one particular house in the village to document their actual life, hopefully with one of the students who were already used to me and my camera by that time.
From my very first visit in January, Tra was very fond of me, as you all may be able to find her big smile in many previous postings. She was unafraid of camera and followed me everywhere. The day I gave her a photo I took of her a week before, she was so excited that she ran after us shouting 'Bye Bye!' as our pick-up truck blew dust onto her face, until she eventually disappeared in the dust illuminated by golden sunset. So, I said to Thai, showing a picture of her "This girl is very fond of me and unguarded." amongs a few other candidated children I told Thai that she was my ideal choice to be the primary subject of video documentary, to stay with day and night with her family.

I did my best to make sure they understood the purpose of me staying with and videotaping them. I asked Thai in so many words (English words unfortunately, with Sophat's patient translation) to make sure the whole family member, village leaders, and neighbours would know that I would be there to capture the real life of Poum Steung villagers, and that they should not bring a feast and a party because of me, that rather, they should ignore me and my camera.
As for Tra, we have conversation about it on Feb. 27th, the first day i arrive. are you nervous? will you be able to act normal when i'm pointing the camera to you? She says No I'm not nervous and I can act normal. ---thinking back now of course she wouldn't have said otherwise. after all I'm a rich foreigner with which in their mind they automatically equates quick wealth, financial and materialistic supports.
To reduce her fear to the camera I lend her my camera and have her take some pictures. Above are the pictures Tra took of me and her best friend Hanravi.

The change was quick, and unexpected. The moment I 'singled her out' and put her in the spotlight, her behaviour started to seem very self-conscious. This is natural. I expected it and still kept joking around with her so that she'd relax and get used to it. The worst comes when other villagers and other students, and older youngsters back from Puok high school discover that Tra is being a primary subject of foreign documentary. Everywhere I follow her, they follow us, and everytime I try to have a conversation with her, ask her question, or just simply make friends with her, it is those others who, with giggles and loud jokes, push her shoulders left and right, telling her to say this, answer that, act this way, smile more... This must have put her in a traumatic psychological pressure, without even knowing consciously, quickly within the first half day, she starts to avoid me and my camera. Turning her back to me and hiding behind someone else or a column of the house.
i put down my camera as soon as i see this happen. getting a good material for the documentary is now a secondary concern. i need to protect her from these psychological attack caused by my lenses. This is not a new story for me. having been in photo/cinema profession so many times i have come to yet another realization that lenses are as much of the weapons as guns and knives -often even more powerful. Lenses can capture selective reality, distort and filter the reality, and propagate and manipulate certain ideas or provoke certain emotions. And even in a remote village like Poum Steung, people seem to have watched enough TV to subconsciously know this power of lenses.

Quite upset with the other villager's inconsideration (it is hard to imagine that in this country woman and children are paid any consideration at all regarding their psychological stress and emotional dispair) and frustrated with my cursed nature of profession, on Feb. 28th, my second day of the stay in the village I bring Tra, her brother Kunnreen, her parents and Sophat to a quiet place by the river bank, telling the villagers not to follow. There i appologize to her and plea for her getting past it. i will not single you out with my camera any more.(making sure that this is not going to cause her to feel that she failed to please me) so please don't be afraid of me...
Above on the left, is her smile on the very first day i visited Poum Steung in January. then on the right is her after I followed her everywhere on her participation of 'Dream Project' Do you see the difference? I do.

Poum Steung Dream Project (cont’ｄ）

On Tuesday Feb. 27th. Thai is the first one to put the handprint.

Mr. Eng and Sophat with the sponges in their hands.

Children tend to print their hands in perfect order from top left corner, right next to one another.

For the morning class where I don't have Sophat's help on translation, a new team of cool people I've met in town come to help. Sreynith (center) has brought origami birds for the children. And Alin (right), one of the tuk-tuk drivers at the greentown guest house, has turned down that day's client because 'I promised to Toshiro that I'd come.'
One of the afternoon class did get to practice workshop on acting a scene (thanks to Sophat's spontaneous creativity) The oldest children out of three afternoon classes did get to the stage in which, everyone had to think and draw or write their future. Many of them write 'doctor' or 'teacher' or 'farmer' and a few 'singer's, one drew a 'painter' very well.
As for the morning classes, we are behind. We did so far as to get children in one class practice drawing or writing on small pieces of paper, once again many teachers and farmers and doctors and singers.
So will they start writing a story and acting a play about a teacher and a doctor and a farmer and a singer, and practice every week?
I DON'T THINK SO.
The 'Dream Project' is meant to inspire the children into have their own thinking, opinion and question to the exsisting, given value, without 'candy into open mouth' type of foreign guidance. But I am one of those foreigners after all, who bought all the paints and materials. The children try to please me, fearfully write or draw what they think the right answer would be.
I don't have any more time to visit the school, but I tell one of the teacher that I'll try to come back in October. The teacher reply, "if you come back and find out that we haven't developed these handprints into the drawings or a play, will you be disappointed?" --I would be more disappointed if the children do practice the play out of obligation.
With bittersweet irony, I receive the finest farewel speeches from one of the older students and from Mr. Thai.

Poum Steung Dream Project

Feb 21st, Sophat, Chey, Thai and I have a meeting to discuss 'Poum Steung Dream Project' in which, i suggest, the children can practice their right to dream the future. It was Patrick originally who suggested a large collaborative painting onto the class room wall, then i also got an inspiration from the art class held by Funky Munky bar owners where they had school children print their hands with the paint.
I suggest that, first the children AND the teachers do the handprints onto the large sheets of paper, then second, they would think of their future and draw or write those 'dreams' onto the paper, and third, according to the collaborative drawings they made, thay could come up with some kind of stories or plays to act. they can develop and practice the plays, improve by weekly rehearsal and feedbacks, then i tell them i shall come back in autumn to follow up.
i give Sophat, Thai and Chey flyers and guidelines nicely written with drawing and sophat is more patient and attentive than ever to understand and translate me. Seems that they are all interested in the idea.
Following Saturday when i visit the school, i see Thai passionately explain the projects to the children. My time in Siem Reap is running out and i can't help expecting a good 'success' from this project.

Sophat come and join to help for the afternoon classes. using his amazing skill to make the children want to listen, we manage to even convey such ideas like 'that future does not mean only job and career', as each teacher is different from one another, try to be imaginative and think of the future as whole life, not just what your jobs would be. furthermore, Sophat had a few children play a small scene between a moto driver, a police officer and a doctor. laughter and shy hesitation, but they are obviously enjoying. i get more confidence that this will turn out to be a great experience for them...

Meanwhile on lunch break i post flyers of the project to let them anticipate. It's to be taking place on my last three days in Siem Reap, coming tuesday, wednesday, thursday Feb27-Mar1. i also excercize a little drawing workshop with the children. The kids normally just curiously observe and watch me draw for ever, until, after my 20th time of me encouraging them to take pencils and paper to draw, slowly one by one, they get really into it. i hand one of the kids my video camera to shoot. all this art forms and expressive activity, i really want to explain to them that, doing and learning from questioning your own result is most important thing and it's not about doing the right thing, right way. The education in Cambodia is strictly pragmatic, Khmer, Math, Science... with all the subjects taught straight off the book and never gives the children a chance to have their own opinion. And this has partially got to do with overwhelming development by tourism and NGO's. People here have gotten used to follow the foreigner's lead as long as it brings them quick wealth. However I worry that i can see a great lack of confidence within this kind of mentality. I do believe, that it is the confidence which makes you able to question the existing social system, and it is these persistant questionings that changes society, and it is these changes in the society that brings them hope and confidence. The healthy and internal development of society evolves with this perpetual cycle of questioning-change-confidence. like a spiral form. Ryan Gosling said that in Half Nelson!


Feb. 27th, so now that paints, brushes and papers been bought, we started preparing for the 'Poum Steung Dream Project'. Kids watch from inside the classroom as Thai, Mr.Eng and I tape up 11 sheets of paper on outside wall of the school. And my time in Siem Reap is really running out. (to be continued, to the posting above... due to the counter-chronological posts of this blog)

Tram Sorsor and Srey Por

Feb. 10th, Sophat, Chey and I visit two other schools that was built with the funding from Cambodian School Project (www.khmerschool.com) they are much further away from Siem Reap, about 70 km into the jungle. Tram Sorsor school is in the village of Kouy tribal people. access road is a narrow dirt road full of bumps and gutters, so we switch Chey's car to a honda super cub in nearby town, triplet ride through this land full of burnt forest and, according to Chey, landmines (but there's no warning sign about the mines) Tram Sorsor village live off by cutting logs to sell(illegal, but the law enforcement wouldn't reach this remote area), then burn the remains of land hoping for vegitation, which won't happen because the burnt land can't produce much, then they move onto deeper into jungle, over the landmines, cutting more trees and burning more land. They can't even feed the cattles so farming pigs and cows aren't options either.

after 10 km or so into this village road we see the school. the school building, to be exact. there's no active school, for there's no money to buy tables and chairs, and to hire teachers. the building, which was built only several months ago, looks very much abandoned, yet we meet about a dozon of children playing in the field and in the building. they are just waiting for the school to be active, dying to learn. there are maybe 150 children in Tram Sorsor village (inaccuarte. children don't know how to count, so every one of them give me a different answer) a pack of them come everyday play mables on the empty floor, until someday there are teachers and desks and tables. every year number of villagers, including children, die of malaria, and they can only eat twice a day, meals of rice mixed with salt and chili. no hospital or proper doctor in village. asking what they want to be, answers i get are;
one child wants to be a doctor, another one farmer, one says he wants to sleep, and the rest of the children dont'seem to have no clue what the future might be like for them. horrifyingly, beyond my comprehension, as in many remote villages like this one, there is a television in one of their houses.

devastated by the visit to Tram Sorsor, we are back on the road again headed for Srey Por school, the name of this small town Srey Por means Rice field (Srey) with the Tree under which Buddha sat and meditated for enlightenment (Por). The school has a nice gate, and the building is still under construction(above center), for about 8 months. they say the weather change delays the construction works, but the building will be done in another few weeks (in Cambodia where there's little sense of punctiality, this can mean anywhere from a month to couple of months) but the school is active, temporarily making three class 'room's in a old brick wearhouse nextdoor(above right)

190 children (half in the morning, half in afternoon) in age of kindergarden to 7th grade, come and study Khmer, Math and etc. Only four teachers, two in the morning and two in the aftrenoon. today one of the afternoon teacher went to wedding so only one is there for all the children. Children look much healthier than ones from Tram Sorsor, physically and mentally. Each time they answer my question they put their palms together (it's called 'wai') then i ask why wai? children answer it's a value that they learned in family, in temples and in school to treat others with respect. what are their dreams? many want to be teacher, one doctor, few farmers, one boy wants to be a monk.
visit to these two school was quick, and just one time thing. i don't have energy to start any project with them this time. it was heartbreaking, devastating, and leaving me hopeless, thinking that, by the next time i get to visit them again, or by the time they have tables and chairs, some of the kids i met in Tram Sorsor might be the next victim of malaria, or landmines. without continuing education available and with rapidly imported tourism, any kid from Srey Por can drop out and become a moto driver, a drug dealer, or a sex worker, and it can only take a couple of years until some of the older kids have to face that.

Khorn, Hoko, Chandrine and Puok High

another couple of cool friends i made, Khorn and Hoko, ask me if they can visit Poum Steung. so we bring all the cleaning supplies (trash bins, brooms and dust pans, and bathroom cleaning supplies) and posters saying "Khom Boh Somram" (Don't litter) neice and nephew of Khorn, who were orphans, also come along.

Khorn is a Cambodian from village, good English, works as a tourist driver like many in Siem Reap. Hoko is a Japanese who worked in a hotel before, then they got married a year ago, now they go back and forth between Siem Reap and Shizuoka, a province at the foot of Mt. Fuji.
At Poum Steung school we ask some more question to the head teacher Mr. Thai, and learn that the school is only five years here because there's not enough class rooms. More fund for the new room for sixth grade is currently being raised by Cambodian School Project (www.khmerschool.com).
What about after that? asks Hoko.
Thai says that children can be enrolled into Puok High School, in the nearby town of Puok, where Chey and Sophat live. It's good 8km away from Poum Steung. And not all the children in this village can afford bicycles.
Hoko brought up her worries for the near future of these children at Poum Steung. So many of them here may not even be able to continue getting proper education after fifth grade.

Chandrine (Left picture above, far right) is neice to Chey and Thai, which makes her a granddaughter to Mr. Sarith Ou, the president of Cambodian School Project, whom i never met but together with Mr. Roger Garms they support everything i do here. Chandrine goes to Puok high, and insisted that i make a visit. a typical high school girl. perky and giggly, all her friends come out to talk with me. chance to practice English conversation with a foreigner is precious for them.

Puok high has 5000+ students and 130 teachers. it's one of the growing town nearby Siem Reap. many of the people in this town commute on bumpy Highway 6 to work for the tourism in Siem Reap. the school needs more class rooms. they can't offer full time classes all day due to the lack of rooms, so students have many reces between classes. slowly, money is coming for more buildings but they are all single story building with limited functions. The high school offers Khmer, Math, Physics, Chemistry, Geography, History (Cambodian, American, Thai, etc...) Biology, English, French, Ideology and House Work
what's Ideology?
---we learn about society, economy and corruption.
what's House Work?
---sawing, cooking and other domestic skills, but you only learn off the books and there's no practice course.
No art, no music, no drama class.
Linny (left on the picture) wants to be a diplomat "but I think my family is too poor to send me to good collage in Phnom Penh, so someday my dream of becoming a diplomat may disappear." and Chandrine wants to become a teacher just like her Uncle Thai, and Granpa Sarith.

Breakfast at Poum Steung

It's five in the morning, well before the dawn. A family who live across from the Poum Steung school come and start making a fire on this newly built cray-made stoves. It's for the breakfast for the children. At Poum Steung, morning students and afternoon students alternate every now and then so everyone can get to have breakfast.

at 7AM children start showing up, once they put their bags and notebooks in their desks they would run to their 'cafeteria' and line up with plates in their hands and spoons in their mouths.

Cambodian Rice is bought and donated by Australia, and there is a couple of cans of sardine, little veggy from the garden.

as the morning sun start shining on them, the children enjoy their meals. usually i get all the attention from the kids but this time with food in front of their eyes, they leave me alone. the way they eat just tells me that they don't get to eat nearly as often, or as much as we eat.

there aren't even enough tables and chairs, so some of them just sit on the ground to eat. it doesn't matter, it's food and it's delicious. having been fed the first energy of the day, some kids run back for the second plates, others start playing before the class starts, and some assigned students sweep and clean the class rooms and the field. another difficult and beautiful day at Poum Steung is about to begin.

Poum Steung School Project 2007

Patrick steps in and steps up. he's involved and committed for the further development of Poum Steung school. He and I, Sophat and Chey decided to raise a medium size fund for Electricity (generator and battery) Water pumping and sewage system, materials for children, maintenance equipment etc. This will be operated via our new website that Patrick's been currently working days and nights. we will focus on smaller, individual funding in number, and not through any kind of NGO that slows down the process of channeling money. Any donation will be sent to the school and will be used for their variety of needs immediately and we also provide personal, individual follow-ups to keep the donator connected to the school. More on this in later post, soon! I'm amazed by my big brother Patrick's energy.
Meanwhile at the school there's a big day of cleaning schoolyard. All the plastic wrappers are picked up by hands (kids immitate me saying in English "pick it up, pick it up") and while girls sweep the field, boys with a water-filled bucket repeat trips from the well to the toilet, which is first in unspeakable condition.
Patrick brought a French doctor and his family he met in his guest house. they are greeted with curious eyes of khmer children, a shy boy takes digital photos of the school from distance while a perky daughter with innocent smile joins right into the children's jump rope.

more at Poum Steung

Another visit to the Poum Steung, on my bike with Patrick on my back. interesting experience to ride piggy back on the bumpy route 6 and dusty dirt road into the village. i bring the gifts i bought the other day, -soccor ball, vollay ball, badminton set, etc., and a map of Cambodia for each class room.
Thai and Sophat are as excited about the maps as I was expecting the kids to be.
Patrick is disappointed by all the trash on the field of empty saturday afternoon school. we spent a little more time to discuss what other projects we need to make happen here.

Poum Steung Gardening project!

Patrick got over his sickness and today(Tuesday Jan 23), we are finally full crew. Chey drives his 4WD and picks me up in town, pick up Patrick at his out-of-town hide-away guest house (he really likes being away from the town) then pick up Sophat in the next town Puok, 17km west of Siem Reap where he lives. on the way we stop and say hi to this friend, give help to that friend, neaten up Chey's shop, etc... Waiting and waiting, Patrick and I would scoff at their lack of punctuality... oh well. At 3:45 when the class period is almost over we finally head out further west for Poum Steung. This is first time Patrick come to this remote side of Cambodia, curiousity and mixed emotions in his face.

End of the school day when the sunlight is beautiful, we find yet another new thing at the school field.

On my first visit, I had seen this beautiful garden that Mr. Thai made, and the team explained to me that each class of children is assigned to water and take care of each strip of the garden(growing this type of vegitable whose name i can never remember). To water this garden they had dug a large hole in a ground about 4 x 10 meters and good 3 meters deep, where the underground water sits. i had seen a wooden ladder into this pool of water and figured that children have to climb this down with buckets, and climb back up to get the water for the garden.

so i have, on that first visit (only 5 days before) suggested that we together build some kind of poll and pully to lift the water from the ground. and now 5 days later as me and the crew visit the school again, that's already built! just like water gun project, once again Mr. Thai leaves me in awe with his enormous energy. And the children love using it. they almost seem to be over-watering it.

end of the visit i give children some photos i printed from previous visits, figure they don't have mare oppotunity to be photographed, much less to see the pictures of themselves. as we drive off, as i sat in the back flat bed of the pick up truck, some children are shouting 'bye bye!' and run after the truck, which blows dust onto their faces but they don't care.... they run and run and run until i lose their sight in the dust back-lit by the setting sun. i am speachless, completely touched.

more projects at Poung Steung

Mr. Thai also made a target and brought several darts.



And I take the buckets which the kids were using to fill up water in their guns, flip these buckets and start drumming on them. They are smart, quickly they pick up the rhythm, notice all the difference in metal and plastic buckets wooden sticks and brushes and brooms. Okay, this is to be continued. Poung Steng Music project is on it's way.

Poung Steung water gun project!

so i come back to Poung Steung school, only a few days after i brought up and suggested that water gun toy idea to Mr. Thai, thinking that we might actually get to make those guns with the kids.

but as i entered the school yard i see dozens of kids already playing hysterically with water guns they made. Mr. Thai went ahead and brought bamboo and other materials, had some of the kids build their guns their own. just in a few days i didn't see him. What a guy! i'm in complete awe by his energy.

Mr. Thai lines up all the morning school children (200 students) to introduce "inventor/designer" of the water gun, yes, myself. i feel respect and adoration in the eyes of every single one of them. but soon this respect is paid by the splashes of water all aiming at me. i grab someone's water gun and start shooting back at them, it's me against 20, 30 kids. i have no chance. soon we are all soaking wet.

This is for sure the first time this Japanese traditional toy is introduced to Khmer children. we are making a history!

i can hardly walk to anywhere in the school yard without being followed by a flock of curious and smiling children. Look at these smile.

Poung Steung School Project!!

finally Mr. Chey drives our team to 20km West of the city, to Poung Steung (menas River Village) school, which was build 4 years ago with the help of Cambodian School Project
a small village along side of the muddy river (it's dry season now, the whole village will become submerged in mud by June) appears to have no more than 20-30 dwellings, 1 well in the center of village and another one at the school.


Mr. Thai, a head teacher. I don't know much about this person yet, but i feel a very strong energy projectingt out of him. i am very excited to get to know him slowly.


a group of 200 children in morning, another 200 in afternoon, they study reading and writing Khmer. Not all the children have money for pencils and notebooks.


as i greet to them and speak to them (and Mr. Sopha translates) Children, some standing, would not put their hands down. Nobody ever showed me this much of respect.



we have some more conversations about what type of projects we can make happen to make a better environment for the children, (video making, drawing, hand-making toys and music instruments, etc.) our minds are full of idea and we almost forget that we just met that day.

for the next 3-4 weeks i will be coming to this school probably 3-4 days every week, and other days to Mr. Sopha's Red Cross (gosh, i hope i don't miss Angkor Wat...) i will keep this blog updated when i have time and energy.

for now all i can say is that i am extremely tired, happy, excited, thought-provoked, loving and peacefull.

another haiku----
Thank you for the life
Thank you for the happiness
I will give it back